Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Almost vacation time!

Boy oh boy do I miss my computer! You just don't realize how much you use it until it's not available. In the mean time though I'm plugging away getting ready for vacation. We are headed to the beach on Thursday and we have chosen to take most of our food with us rather than eating out. Not only is that a cheaper alternative but I can control how much fat I eat that way, for the most part anyhow. We will still indulge in a couple of meals eaten out but overall I will still be able to fix my lower fat meals and therefore not gain a ton of weight! We stay at a location that has a kitchen in the room and that is so helpful!

Yesterday I did the "Slim and 6 Pack" routine from the "Slim in 6" DVD and although it's only 15 minutes long I can tell you today that my abs are sore! It's a good sore though! :) I'm taking those DVD's with me and I plan to still work out. I used to think people who worked out on vacation and all that were crazy. They should just enjoy their vacation! But I have found that when I take a week off from low fat eating and working out it takes like a month to get back in the grove! I will admit that I'm not as strict when I'm on vacation, but I try to stick to things pretty closely.

I'm so excited to be going! We have been looking forward to this trip to the beach for a year now and I can't believe it's already time! I hope all of you are having a good summer and are finding successful ways to enjoy yourself without sabotaging your weight loss goals!

Friday, June 22, 2012

Still missing...

So my poor computer is still missing it's hard drive. Actually it does have a hard drive, the hard drive just doesn't want to function properly. We are currently having a new one put in so hopefully in the next few days I will have my computer back.

In the mean time I just wanted to touch base with everyone though. I have been really good this week getting my workouts in, but I have not weighed in. I switched from doing cardio on the Wii this week to doing my "Slim in 6" core and resistance training workout. Normally I just do my weigh in on the Wii Fit Plus but since I haven't been using that workout I haven't bothered to get it out just to weigh in with. I'm feeling good though. :)

The kids have been bugging me with tons of questions this week about why I eat "diet food" instead of what they are eating and why I exercise every day. I don't really eat "diet" food per se. But I tell my kids that my low fat snacks and foods are my diet food so that they will stay out of them. For example: we all love string cheese. But my kids will eat a whole bag of it in a day if I let them. So I have regular string cheese for them, and light string cheese for me. It bugs me when they eat all the light string cheese because then I don't have any that I can eat! So my light string cheese is my "diet cheese" and they have their own package to eat.

We go through these questions periodically with them. I think they just check back in with me to find out if my answers are going to change! LOL Today I stepped away from my workout for just a second and I didn't pause it. My son immediately informed me that I was missing some of my workout and I had better get back to it! What a great motivation they are!

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Computer problems

My computer died. Well hopefully it's not really dead, just needing some intensive care...I'll be back soon with more tips and updates!

Monday, June 18, 2012

Moving right along

Back to my history....September 15, 2010 I was down 42 pounds! Then I went in for surgery on my hand and I don't mention my weight loss in my diary again until February 21, 2011!  "I've lost 63 pounds in the last year! unfortunately these last 27 are kicking my rear end...but they will come off eventually!" That's what I wrote! Talk about missing a chunk of my story! Little did I know at the time, but my doctor had a few things to say about my plan of losing another 27 pounds....

A couple of days later I went in to see my doctor because I was having some allergy issues. While I was there I talked to her about my weight loss. Here is what I wrote about that conversation: "I told her I was shooting for 120 but she said that due to my age I shouldn't go below 130. She explained that as you get older your body stores your estrogen for menopause in your trunkal fat. (LOVELY!) and that if you don't have enough then your body starts holding onto everything and almost stops your metabolism in order to make sure that it is hanging onto that estrogen. So she said that when I get down about my 130 goal I should be more focused on toning the flabby jiggly parts into muscle. So I guess I'm only 15 pounds from my goal instead of 25! woohoo!!"

Later on when I got closer to that 130 goal I didn't want to stop there. I liked how my body was looking and feeling and I really wanted to hit that 120 point that according to my height I should be. So I followed up with my OBGYN about this idea of your body storing estrogen and needing the extra fat. He agreed with my family doctor. So with 2 doctors telling me the same thing I had to give up that new goal of 120 and go back to my goal of 130. I'm still tempted to go down more...but I'm working to tone instead of lose. We'll see how that goes.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

week in review

Monday started off with me being down another pound! Yeah! I have to say that I was a little surprised. Almost 8 months ago our family made a big move for us. We moved 3 hours away from the only town and house my kids remember living in. This prompted a regression in the potty training of my (then) 3 year old daughter. She is now 4 and we have been battling this issue for all these months. So a few weeks ago I made a deal with her that if she could go a full week with no "accidents" we would make cupcakes. She made it! I followed up by extending the challenge to go 2 more weeks and then we would make chocolate chip cookies. Well Sunday was the day we got to make the chocolate chip cookies and although I made them lower fat cookies I still couldn't stay out of them. That is why I was surprised I had actually lost a pound! I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I gave in and went to bed at 9pm Sunday night instead of waiting for my husband to get home at midnight! I didn't sleep that whole time, but it did increase my sleep by at least 2 hours that night!

Tuesday I was down another pound! Yes! After having a couple of weeks of going up instead of down this felt wonderful! The day was a busy one though and unfortunately I didn't get enough sleep Tuesday night. Oh well, that's the life of a mom! :)

Just to prove my point of my ups and down with weight during the week the wonderful scale showed a pound gained on Wednesday. Thank goodness for a good workout though! That night was pizza and movie night in our house.

So this was my dinner that night....notice how much more salad there is than pizza? I had to have one slice of pizza or I would have been craving it! My salad had mushrooms, cheese, a few bits of real bacon (about a tablespoon), croutons and fat free ranch dressing. We followed the pizza up with some home air popped butter-free popcorn! It was a yummy night!

Thursday saw all 3 kids with strep throat. That meant that instead of my regular workout inside I took a break from the whiny kids and walked to the store to pick up the new prescriptions. What a great workout that was! Fresh air and silence! Ahhhhhh!

With Friday's weigh in I was up again, but not too much. I had a great workout and watched my points.

Saturday showed another gain. So the total for the week is a gain of 1.5 pounds :( That means more work this coming week to get that weight off again. I have 3 pounds that I battle like this constantly! As of Tuesday I had won the battle and gotten rid of those 3 pounds, but look what has happened immediately afterwards. But I'm not going to let this get me down...I'll just keep working to break past those stubborn 3!

Does anyone else have this problem? Like your body just refuses to let you break that wall?

Wednesday, June 13, 2012


I have a friend (Teri Walker) who is an Independent Team Beachbody Coach...she posted this information the other day and I thought it was so good that I would share it with you!

"One cup of strawberries contains over 13% of the RDA of dietary fiber, yet only 43 calories. The dietary fiber in strawberries helps to keep digestion regular, as well as lowers blood pressure and curbs overeating."

So as we move into the yummy fruit season of summer, don't forget to indulge in these delicious and healthy berries! I love strawberries and so do my kids! During the summer I often slice some over a pancake or waffle and then add some fat-free whipped cream! It's so yummy and light that it makes you feel like you are indulging in something fattening even though you aren't!

Monday, June 11, 2012

August 2010

I was looking back at my journal to find things to share with you and I realized that there are huge chunks of time where I didn't write anything at all about my weight loss. I just kept trucking along. Like, there is nothing between August 13 where I was down 34.5 pounds total until August 27 (2 weeks later) when I was finally down 37 pounds. Yes I only lost 2.5 pounds in 2 weeks! I'm sure that if I went back and checked the Wii I would find that I did a lot of "lose 1 pound, gain .7 back"...that kind of stuff during those 2 weeks. That is normal for me. My weight loss is really a very gradual thing. But I can tell you that a week and a half later on Sept 8 I hit my half way mark and I was so excited! That was roughly 6 months after starting my journey.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

A better week?

I knew there would be a good chance I wasn't going to be happy with my weigh-in on Monday morning. I had succumbed to a few extra yummy things over the weekend and I knew I would be paying for it. Yep, I was right. I had gained 1.5 pounds. Then to add to the fun of gaining weight my kids would not stop interrupting me during my workout that morning! I started my 30 minutes of cardio at 9am. At 9:25 I was still only 10 minutes into the workout! My heart rate was up though, just not from the workout! I decided to walk away from it at that point. Normally I don't do that, I push through even if it takes me over an hour to complete the workout. I try really hard to not "pause" the workout to take care of the kids. Instead I try to make them wait until I'm done. But some days the children just wont be put in second place. So Monday's workout was somewhat of a loss...oh well.

Tuesday I didn't feel well so I opted to skip my workout. In fact, I slept a lot! My wonderful husband watched the kids all morning and I napped for a good 2 hours! It felt wonderful, but I still felt a little guilty about not exercising so I made sure to stay within my points.

Wednesday I forced myself to get up and exercise although I really would have preferred to skip it again! Isn't that the way it always is? You skip one day and then you are sooooo tempted to skip again? Well I exercised and when I weighed in I was down .7 pounds. That was good news because that means I'd lost 1/2 of what I gained last weekend!

Thursday morning I weighed in though and was back up another 1.1 pounds. Ugh! I worked out hard but I know that stress and a lack of quality and quantity of sleep is really making this week a difficult one for weight loss.

Friday was not a good day again! I had a massive headache as soon as I woke up and I know I didn't get good sleep all night...so yet again I sluffed and didn't get my workout done. :( Bad me! I was careful on my points though, even with Will choosing pizza for dinner! I had one smaller slice of pizza and a large salad. I worked at a pizza place in high school and I could never understand why people came in and ordered salad with their pizza. Or why one person would order salad while everyone else ate pizza. Well, now I'm one of those people! lol

Today I did not do my regular workout. Instead we took the kids fishing. How is that a workout you may ask? Well we hiked about a mile in and a mile out...yes that is not much, but in my defense I was carrying about 30 pounds of stuff! :) Anyhow, it was better than no workout at all!

We'll see what the scale says when I weigh in next week! I hope all of you did or have plans to do something fun this weekend!

Friday, June 8, 2012

What do you see in the mirror?

I often wondered how girls/women who are so anorexic that they look like skeletons could still see themselves as fat. I know now. Not because I'm anorexic but because there are many days that I still feel like that fat person I used to be. I remember when I finally broke down and bought new clothes. My old clothes were just so big I couldn't get away with wearing them anymore. I waited as long as I could because I didn't want to be buying clothes all the time and then shrink out of them before I got my money's worth.

Anyhow, when I bought the first pair of jeans that were a size 12 I pulled them off the rack and looked at how small they were and I thought "there is no way these will fit me! They are so small!" But they did!! I was shocked that I was back in a size 12! I took a picture in the dressing room mirror and sent it to my friend because I was shopping alone and I was so excited that I just had to share it with someone! At one point that had been my goal size....but after putting them on I knew there was no way I was stopping there.

The other day though I pulled out my jeans that are now a size 7/8 and I looked at them and thought "those look so big!" When that thought went through my head I realized that maybe I shouldn't have thrown out all my "before" clothes. Maybe I should have kept that one pair of jeans to look at on those days that I feel like I am still fat...

The feelings of being that fat person are deeper than just the optical illusion of my clothes occasionally still looking huge. Even after maintaining this weight for more than 6 months I still catch myself thinking about things the way I did when I was over 200 pounds.

I have a step stool in my house that I've had since college. A few years ago my kids were playing with it and one of them got mad and through the stool to the ground. The stool hit the floor at just the right angle to bend one of the legs in toward the other legs so it didn't sit level. My husband bent the leg back out as straight as he could, but I was always hesitant to use the stool after that. I was a little worried that it wouldn't hold me since I was so heavy and the integrity of the stool had been compromised. Most of the time I don't worry about that any more, but sometimes I still hesitate before stepping on and I have to remind myself that I no longer have to worry about being too heavy to step on the stool.

So now I can see how easy it is for people to become anorexic, to always see fat on their bodies. Changing that mental image of yourself is a hard thing to do and it's something I'm still working on.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Dinner tips

As I was grocery shopping one day I found these great little microwavable dinners from Weight Watchers Smart Ones. Occasionally I fix my kids something for dinner that I am not going to eat because it has too much fat and too many calories...like macaroni and cheese with hot dogs! So I wanted an alternative for just me. These are perfect for me!

My kids get pasta with creamy cheese sauce and I get pasta with a cream sauce too! I love it! I haven't tried very many varieties yet but the ones I have tried have been surprisingly good. They have desserts too, but I haven't tried those yet....maybe this summer I'll get to them!

Has anyone else tried any of these?

Monday, June 4, 2012

2 years ago, almost to the day!

I was looking back through my journal entries to see where I was in sharing my story with you and I discovered that it's amazing how similar my life this week is to my life 2 years ago...and yet it's so very different too! Two years ago I had 3 children who were just getting over the flu, and so was I. Today, I have 3 kids who are just getting over a really bad cough/fever and so am I! hahaha

Here is what I found in my journal "I'm doing good. :) 17 pounds down!!" I had decided that instead of rewarding myself with food...and probably gaining some of the weight back, I would reward myself with a new book every time I lost 5 pounds! I love to read but I lived in a small town where pthere were no bookstores close by so I didn't go buy a book very often. Yes I know, I could have ordered books online. But there is something almost magical about browsing in a book store and I love it. So about 2 1/2 weeks after that journal entry I left on a sort of vacation. I was going to Salt Lake City and there were many many bookstores there that I love. By the time I left on vacation I was down a total of 25 pounds! That meant I got to buy 5 books! I don't think my husband was that thrilled with the cost of that reward, but he was proud of my progress so he never complained! It was the first reward I indulged in and I loved it!

Being on vacation brought a whole new round of temptations though, and difficulties with sticking to my new eating plan. I went to Salt Lake to be part of a reunion concert for a choir that I was a part of many years earlier. I was excited to be there, but it was an intense week. We had rehearsal Tuesday and Wednesday night, dress rehearsal Thursday and a performance Friday and Saturday nights! Oh and did I mention that we did not receive the music until the first rehearsal? Ok, so my point is that it was a busy, hectic and stressful week. As I have said before, my reaction to stress is to eat, and then my body doesn't let go of those calories easily. I had to leave for rehearsals at 4:30 pm and it was usually after 11 when I would get back to my sisters house.

I decided the only way to handle it was to have dinner a little earlier than normal. I knew that by the time I got back to the house I would be really hungry and tired and tempted to hit a fast food drive through on the way back to my sisters house. So I planned ahead and packed a small snack to eat on the way home and plenty of water to drink! I absolutely love the Special K cereal bars so that is what I usually took with me.

It worked for the most part too! I did succumb after our final concert though. There was a reception afterward with yummy cookies and I had a couple even though I knew I really shouldn't. But it was time to celebrate! That had been such a long day and so emotional and so by the time Larry and I headed back to the house after the reception I was starving! (I had limited myself to only 2 cookies). In my moment of excitement and exhaustion I totally gave in to the temptation to stop at IHOP and have a cheese blintz! I had not been to IHOP for several years (there weren't any close by to where I lived) and I just couldn't say no that night.

It was delicious and I did put 2 or 3 pounds back on...but the extra work it took to get that weight was still worth that one little bit of celebration :)

Saturday, June 2, 2012

A Hard Week

Well this has been a hard week for me. I am constantly amazed at how much of an emotional eater I really am. I have realized for years that boredom would bring on the snacking, and of course you always hear that when women are depressed or sad they want chocolate. Yes those two things definitely happen in my life. This week though I was sorely tempted to soothe the soul with food.

There is a reason some foods are called "comfort foods" I wondered just what exactly the definition of "comfort food" was, so I Googled it! HaHa. Of course there was a listing under Wikipedia which said "Comfort food is food prepared traditionally, that may have a nostalgic or sentimental appeal, or simply provide an easy-to-eat, easy-to-digest meal rich in calories, nutrients, or both. Comfort foods may be foods that have a nostalgic element either to an individual or a specific culture. Many comfort foods are flavorful and easily eaten, having soft consistencies. Comfort foods may be consumed to positively pique emotions, to relieve negative psychological affects or to increase positive feelings. The term was first used, according to Webster's Dictionary, in 1977."

You can read the rest here if you are interested. According to one study cited on Wikipedia positive emotions in men trigger their desire for comfort food and negative emotions of women trigger that desire. I found that difference very interesting.

So anyhow, one night this week I was feeling particularly self destructive as far as my eating habits were concerned. Years ago I found that writing in a journal was a good way of stress relief for me. I could rid myself of any anger or stress or sadness without any of my friends having to listen to me complain. It is a habit that I have struggled with since becoming a mother, there just doesn't ever seem to be enough time. So I made a deal with myself. I told myself that before I went and got anything to eat (like the last cupcake sitting all by it's lonesome self on the shelf) I would try my old habit of writing in my journal, just dump every single emotion that I was feeling in there.

See I didn't feel like I could talk to anyone about what was bothering me without people misunderstanding and feeling guilty for their role (real or imagined) in the situation. I did not want anyone to think that I was throwing a pity party, or that I was trying to make them feel guilty for what they did or didn't do. So dumping all of my thoughts and feelings in a journal was a good option. No one that had anything to do with my actual life would be reading that journal. I type much faster than I can write and so years ago I switched from keeping a hand written journal to keeping one on the computer.

So I sat at the computer and cried and typed. Typed and cried. Typed and typed and typed until I thought the tears were gone. The whole time I was thinking about what the problems were and I knew that I was over reacting emotionally. I knew that my old feelings of insecurity were bombarding me again and that they were not justified. But just because you know your feelings aren't rational doesn't mean you can dismiss them. After a long time of thinking and crying and typing I found that although I still had the "craving" for my comfort foods I was by then exhausted physically and emotionally. I had also been able to pound it into my brain that eating those calorie rich foods would only cause me more pain the next time I weighed in, and that idea was more than I was willing to accept.

Remember those old cartoons where whenever someone had to make a decision an angel would pop up on one shoulder and a devil on the other? And whenever they had to make a decision both the devil and the angel would try to influence them? That seems to happen with me sometimes too. At one point my brain says "who cares! just eat the food and feel better right now!" (yes, I always talk to myself in lower case, capital letters are too formal for talking to ones self) But if I can hold out a while my rational brain seems to be able to smash that nasty devil and I'm able to make a better choice. Don't get me wrong, the craving doesn't completely leave, and I almost always still have to have something! But I'm able to choose a low fat yummy treat instead.

This week was hard though, and I'll admit that last night I gave in to the weariness and when my husband suggesting getting a pizza from a local pizza place I readily agreed...and it was delicious! The leftovers are calling me from the fridge today...